| The Epic Journey: Complete.
(1) You're sitting at home. Chillaxing. Doin' whatever, there's nobody else around and you're perfectly content. What color shirt are you wearing?
Gray. Or blue. Or maybe green. Whatever, who cares anyway? It's a t-shirt that probably doesn't fit all the well so the color doesn't really matter that much.
(2) It also happens to be Friday night. Are you disapointed that you're just sitting home alone with your shirt?
No! I'm all chillazing, readin' a book and maybe eatin' some Doritos or somethin'. What's to be disapointed about?
(2.2)Suddenly there's a knock on the door. An old friend you haven't seen for years stumbles in and falls on the floor. Who is it?
Reagan Archer??? What are you doing here? Andwhere's your baby? Can I hold her? Please please pretty please?
(3) They appear to be scared out of their mind, and have a hard time talking. You offer them a liquid. What did you offer them?
Water. That's all I really have right now. I do give her ice, so she'll get a stomach ache from the cold liquid. That counts though, right?
(4) Your old friend explains that you've got to run. It's no longer safe where you are. You try to get them to explain, but they don't seem to be able to say anything more than that. Suddenly they look down at their ankles, stare straight ahead the run off out the door. Do you follow them?
No. I'm too suprised that she just ran off with one of my glasses! I mean really! How rude!
(5) It doesn't matter, they're too far away. You decide to leave town, maybe just for a few days. You can afford to bring a small bag and some sort of weapon, because I'm geeky like. What do you bring?
In my bag I bring a change of clothes, all the snack food I have and a whole bunch of books. I may also throw an umbrella or a scarf or something in there also. Just in case. For my weapon, I bring guns. Lots of guns I hide all of them under my leather coat because I think it'd be fun to be all Matrix like. As for the kinds of guns, they're mostly big ones. Shotguns, semi-automatics, maybe even a few little hand guns just for diversity's sake. I figure if I'm stuck going on some kind of weird epic adventure thingy, I'm going to be smart and bring something I don't really have to know much about to use. Guns are point-and-click. Other stuff is not.
(6) As you're leaving town, your friend stops you and asks you why you're all packed up. You explain that it's nothing and hurry off. Who was the friend?
Lynne Erdman. She's my roommate and she saw me leaving and asked a bunch of questions.
(7) They follow you anyway. Soon you're out of town setting up camp. You'll have to set up a fire eventually, but first it's snack time. Whatcha eating?
Pringles, the Oreos and the last of my Doritos from question (2).
(8) Sounds yummy. Suddenly two more people you know stumble in through the woods. You know who I'm talking about, it's like they're joined at the hip. What are their names?
Tiffany Bobbit and Brenda Seelye! Oh my. This could get very "interesting" very fast...
(9) You explain what's going on. The group decides that you all need to go back into town to pick up supplies. As well as food and the essentials, they each choose a weapon or device that's kinda signature to them. Want to describe them?
Lynne has knives. Lots of knives. In fact, she grabbed all the knives all of us own and brought them all with her. I'm not sure if she actually knows how to use them, though.
Tiffany decides to be all midevil and brings a sword. It's big and heavy. I'm wondering if she might drop it soon and just take one of Lynne's knives.
Brenda also brings alot of guns. Mostly handguns. And a carrot. I don't even want to know what the carrot is for.
(10) You already packed so you have everything you need, but you decide to pick up your zany animal companion. What is it?
One of the cats that lives on campus. The stupid things all run away and hide, so we have to go on without them.
(11) You voyage on for many days and nights. Suddenly your party is attacked. You manage to fight them off, but somebody is badly injured. Who?
Tiffany! She raised her sword to attack, and got a severe cramp in her back! She fell over and the sword went flying. Someone may or may not have kicked some dirt and leaves all over is so it couldn't be found. Sheesh. Swords. Really.
(12) Somebody decides to take the injured person to safety, while the other person decides to continues on with you. Who?
Brenda (who is aparently joined at the hip to Tiffany) takes her to the hospital. Before she leaves, she gives her guns to Lynne - probably because she doesn't think much of the knives either. She gives me the carrot. I'm confused, but I bid them a tear-filled goodbye.
(13) Ok, you're back on the road again. More carefully this time. You slowly learn more and more about why you were in so much danger, a plot that threatens your land, and your own thrilling backstory. No time for that now though, there's a fork in the road. You can either go into a scary forest around a mountain, or a tunnel right underneath it. The tunnel will save you several days journey, you can probably get through by morning. Which do you choose?
Obviously I choose the forest. If the tunnel is so horrible that they can't even tell me the dangers inherent in traveling through it, then I want nothing to do with it!
(14) Oh, the forests on fire now so if you chose that you have to go through the tunnel anyway. Funny how that happens. You can't just climb over the mountain because you are horribly afraid of something mountain related. Wanna let us know what it is?
Falling rocks. Falling ice. Falling. Also, cold. Mountians are cold, right?
(15) If the middle of the mountain you see the old friend who first warned you, curled up into a ball. You walk up and try to help them, suddenly they're making weird animal noises and attacking you. There's a thrilling cliff scene and they fall off the edge. Soon you've arrived at your destination. There's a door or something, and for some reason you know you have to go in by yourself. You pick up your weapon and walk inside. What do you see?
Lots of people who also have guns. Good thing I didn't bring a sword or something!
(16) Suddenly there's the sound of drums slowly building up in the background, you see your rival sitting on his throne in the shadows. You realize that the drums are actually part of a pop song. How out of place! What pop song is playing for your Final Battle?
Oh dear Lord in Heaven, it's a Brittany Spears song! What did I ever do to deserve this???
(17) You are victorious, but just barely. Describe the battle, making heavy references to a similar situation in a movie, book, or TV show.
Bullets start flying everywhere, and in a moment of inspiration (or panic) I dive out the door I just came through. Lynne is still waiting for me there, and we both ready ourselves for the firefight that's coming. We have each pulled out a gun or two, when Lynne makes some silly comment about having the girly guns. I give her a couple of my semi-automatics, and we rush out the door preceeded by our bullets. The next minute or so is full of us turning around wildly in circles, shooting everything that moves. When the dust settles, everyone is dead except us, and we are completely unharmed. However, my poor rival is killed somewhere during the firefight. What an utterly unclimactic ending for such a skilled rival!
(18) Before they're vanquished, you breifly see your rival's face. Who is it?
I'm not completely sure, what with all the dust and bullets and such, but I think I saw, for a moment, the face of my boss, Bob, during the hectic firefight. Why was he there? Was he my longtime rival whom I have been fighting so very long? These questions may never have an answer, for the bodies of my enemies all disapeared only moments after they fell.
(19) From all of his vast piles of wealth, you decide to take one thing. You don't pick it because it's awesome, and you don't pick it because it'll make you rich (you can come back later for that). You pick something that's representive of the adventure. What is it?
Out of the piles of riches littering the floor, something unlike everything else sits in an almost accusative way off to my left. Sitting there amongst gold, silver, diamonds and really cool books, is Tiffany's sword with a carrot stuck on the end of it. How did it get here? Why is it here? These questions my never be answered, but I take the sword anyway. I'm sure Tiff would like it back. Probably. Maybe. Well, at the very least it will give me something to tease her about in the future! This also gives me something to eat on the way back. Score!
(20) You walk out the door. Clutching your prize, you say "lets go" and lead the way back home. When you get back you get a heroes welcome. Yay! The enemy's dead and everything seems to be good. How do you leave the door open for a sequel?
With my foe vanquished, I return to my normal, boring life. People give me a little more room when I wear my leather coat and I now have a nifty new car to drive, but other than that I'm back to the life of a normal college student. Not too far away, in the trees behind my dorm, a misty but somehow familiar figure wanders across the railroad tracks. She looks at the trees as if she can see something through them, then turns and continues through the woods.
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